Commitment Phobia

I believe I have a friend that have commitment phobia. I found this article online.


Do you know how to deal with commitment phobia?
There is a lot of advice on the internet regarding how to deal with commitment phobia. Are you confused? Here are some starting points:

Learn to recognize the symptoms. Is your partner truly scared of commitment, or is it just that you are both moving in different directions?
Sometimes if our relationship is not working, it is easier to blame the problem on some other cause, rather than look at the cold hard facts
As difficult as it may be to admit, you and your partner might not be right for each other. The following information will help you learn about the warning signs and how to deal with commitment phobia when it rears its ugly head.





What is commitment phobia?
Just like the name implies, commitment phobia is the fear or dislike of commitment. Men are generally considered more commitment-phobic than women, but recent research suggests that this might be a case of stereotyping, and that it is not necessarily a gender-specific thing.

Statistics show that we are happier and more well-adjusted when we are in committed relationships. So where does the fear of commitment come from? There can be many different reasons why people do not want to commit. Some of these can include:





Previous unsuccessful relationships

Has your partner been badly hurt in the past? If so, you will need to be patient. Let him or her know how much you care; slowly they will begin to trust you and realize that you are a completely different person to their ex-partner.




Fear of boredom

Are you or your partner addicted to the rush and excitement of a new relationship? Yes, the first stages of a relationship are always exciting….but as you settle into a routine, one or both of you might start to become restless, and look elsewhere to get that excitement again. Unfortunately, this superficial excitement will always wear off, leaving you hungry for the next fix.

So be careful; falling into this trap is a recipe for a shallow and lonely existence. Instead, how about taking steps to keep the relationship exciting for both of you? Try new things together and make sure you keep your independence too; this means spending a healthy amount of time apart, doing things with other people.



There might be someone better out there

Some people are always on the lookout for something better than what they already have. If you think your partner is doing this, then do yourself a favour and leave the relationship; you deserve better.



Only after the thrill of the chase

In a similar vain to the new relationship addict, some people are only interested in the unattainable; they come on strong at the start, saying and doing all the right things and being extremely attentive. Then once you reciprocate the interest, they don’t want to know any more.

Do you know someone like this? The signs are usually pretty clear…they are all over you one minute, then cool and distant the next. If you’re dating someone who does this, move right along! Don’t waste your time with game-players. Make yourself available for a partner who has integrity and who shows you the respect you deserve






So How Can We Avoid It?
If you’re not sure how to deal with commitment phobia, then I hope this guide has made things a little clearer. One of the most destructive side effects of being involved with a commitment phobic is a loss of self-esteem. You might even blame yourself for your partner’s failure to commit. Rejection hurts; and when you are on the receiving end of rejection, it can be hard not to turn on yourself.


The best way to avoid having to deal with commitment phobia is to be clear about what your needs and expectations are right from the beginning; don't avoid talking about serious subjects just because you don't want to “rock the boat”. If you don't both want the same things, it is better to know from the beginning.





"Don’t waste your time and energy on someone who does not deserve your love"